


the beginning of the end of yoonoh

by aeroplaneseok



Series: oh, my god ten [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Angst, Backstory, Catholic School, Difficult Home Life, Happy Ending, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, a slur is referenced but not written, mark and taeil are also mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-14 16:44:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18480256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aeroplaneseok/pseuds/aeroplaneseok
Summary: "the person he was most grateful for, he felt he didn’t deserve one bit, his guardian angel, sent from heaven to look over him and make him remember things wouldn’t be awful forever, his crush of five years, johnny suh"-some backstory to the catholic boarding school au from jaehyun's pov - in which he and johnny face up to some feelings, but not the ones they have for each other





	the beginning of the end of yoonoh

jaehyun was pissed off - angry at the world and everyone in it. the people supposed to care about him the most didn’t give a shit if he came home late and clearly drunk. as long as he could crawl out of bed on sunday mornings, put on his best (and only) suit and sit next to them to gather before God, his parents didn’t care what he did in his spare time. he’d only been in his new waitering job for two months and he was one late start away from being fired, taking every smoke break he could to get away from the middle-class families whose only worries were if their soup was hot enough. he was just starting to make friends at work, finding a smile lingered on his face after chatting with one of the saturday boys, mark, and a sous chef, taeil. 

 

granted, he had some things to be grateful for in his life, his parents still let him live at home and fed him, his high school friends still kept up with him and they hung out at least once a week. but the person he was most grateful for, he felt he didn’t deserve one bit, his guardian angel, sent from heaven to look over him and make him remember things wouldn’t be awful forever, his crush of five years, johnny suh. 

 

he felt especially grateful for him in moments they spent like this, johnny’s hands around his waist as they swayed together to the heavy house music pounding the club. since he could never ever bring johnny to his house, clubs and bars were where they spent the majority of their nights together, drinking to forget everything but each other. with a few fruity cocktails in his system, jaehyun felt a happy buzz in his veins, burying his face in johnny’s shoulder and pulling him closer. tonight they had picked a gay club just outside the city centre that jaehyun had already forgotten the name of, as these were one of the few places they could be affectionate without risking their safety. after drinking a few cocktails each, sitting pressed up against each other in a booth, jaehyun had pulled johnny onto the dancefloor to expel some of his pent up energy from the busy week. 

 

“hey, you okay?” johnny yelled as sweetly as he could, trying to be heard over the music. jaehyun pulled his face out of johnny’s shoulder to meet his eyes, of course johnny could sense his change in mood, as cuddling isn’t something most emotionally stable people do at a club. 

 

“yeah,” he gave johnny a small smile, “it’s been a tough week is all.” the hands on his waist tensed a little, rubbing gentle circles in the silky fabric of jaehyun’s shirt. 

 

“wanna talk about it?” 

 

they made their way through the crowd to the alley running alongside the club, and jaehyun took a cigarette he’d already rolled out of his back pocket, along with a lighter. 

 

“my parents talked about my cousin again at lunch.” jaehyun sighed after taking a long drag from his cigarette, he heard johnny suck in a breath beside him, he knew that was far from a good thing. 

 

jaehyun’s cousin was only 16, and his parents made homophobic comments about her and her girlfriend to no end. he’d tried to argue with them a thousand times, ask them to leave her alone, but he got shot down every time, having to hear them say why she’s disgusting and a disgrace to the family. thank god her own parents were accepting, but every conversation about her reminded jaehyun why he could never truly be himself around his own parents. 

 

they stood leaning against the brick wall for a while and talked, the cold air soothing the flush on johnny’s cheeks from dancing. once jaehyun finished explaining the shit he’d had to deal with that day, johnny pulled him in for a firm hug, telling him all the comforting things he needed to hear. they stood like that for a moment, enjoying a moment of calm, and jaehyun could finally forget his worry that the disgusting things his parents said were true - that he wasn’t natural. after dropping his filter down the nearest drain, jaehyun pulled his best friend back into the club to dance and kiss and laugh until late into the night. 

 

“nooo! i can walk home by myselffff,” jaehyun giggled, swaying a little on the path. they left the club at around one, or two, jaehyun wasn’t really sure, and he steadied a hand on johnny’s shoulder as the latter smiled gently at him. 

 

“it’s not that far, come on, what kind of a boy-- uh, best friend would i be if i didn’t make sure you got home safe?” johnny chuckled, wrapping his arm around jaehyun’s waist and leading them in the direction of his house. as they started walking, jaehyun couldn’t help noticing how a tinge of sadness crept into his chest, knowing he had to go back to his everyday hell rather than staying out with johnny. by the time they turned onto his street, it felt as though with every step they took, that numbness jaehyun was all too used to swallowed him up again, making his heart sink as he knew what waited for him at home. 

 

when jaehyun stood on his doorstep, feeling terribly sober and with johnny’s hand in his, he felt choked up all of a sudden. 

 

“don’t want you to go,” he breathed, looking at their feet so he wouldn’t have to see johnny’s expression, he hated them being apart as much as jaehyun did. 

 

“you know i can’t stay, baby.” johnny stepped closer to him and cupped his cheek gently, bringing jaehyun’s gaze up to meet his own. he was met with johnny’s honey brown eyes, dilated in the low light and jaehyun found himself once again lost in them, feeling every thought johnny was trying to convey to him. johnny’s gaze flickered down, and jaehyun laced their fingers together as he met johnny’s lips, a gentle hand coming to rest around the back of his neck. 

 

chest swelling again with all those good things johnny makes him feel, jaehyun grabbed his open jacket and pulled him up onto the doorstep, tilting his chin up as johnny once again became taller than him. their kiss was soft and heartfelt, the kind of first kiss the protagonist has with their love interest in all those rom-coms johnny makes them watch together. 

 

“teddy,” he breathed - his own special nickname for johnny - who hummed against his lips in response. without breaking their kiss, jaehyun found his back against the front door, johnny carefully pressing him into it and still holding his hand tightly, jaehyun’s free hand dancing over warm skin to find its home in johnny’s hair. he couldn’t help getting lost in johnny as he often does, pulling him ever closer, wanting to feel truly loved by someone, and although they could never be together, this was the closest thing he had to love. 

 

but of course the happiness couldn’t last long, and jaehyun only knew he’d fallen over from the blinding pain in the back of his head and how he could barely breathe, the wind knocked out of him on impact. he briefly looked down, and through bleary vision could just about make out johnny’s hand still holding onto his, before his ears stopped ringing deafeningly and the screaming around him could be heard. 

 

putting the pieces together, jaehyun quickly realised that his parents must’ve seen them through the frosted glass of the door, pulled it open and let jaehyun topple backwards into the house, dragging johnny down with him. they were screaming at him, he was still too winded to make out the words but he got the message of what they were saying. johnny crouched over him, actually caring enough to check if he was injured, trying to roll him into the recovery position. 

 

“i’m fine!” jaehyun yelled, pushing johnny’s arms away and getting to his feet. he faced his parents, fists clenched at his side, but no words of defense came out.

 

he felt disappointed as much as he was angry - disappointed in himself that he got too confident in whatever was going on between him and johnny. this was all his fault, he should never have let johnny walk him home. maybe, he thought, if he’d walked himself home and didn’t make it back, passing out in the street, that would’ve been better. he should never have kissed him for that long, johnny was just trying to be sweet and thoughtful and what did jaehyun do? mess it all up. 

 

all the while these thoughts were flying around his head, thought of regret and self hatred and pain, hurtful words were being thrown at him. he wished he could’ve tuned out, but instead he was forced to hear every single word about how he betrayed him and God, how God hates him, how he’s a disgrace to the family. his heart felt like it was breaking with every word, the physical pain in his chest was agonising, and when his mother punctuated her sentence with a slur, he cried out in pain. jaehyun was watching his whole world fall apart, he’d never felt emotional pain like this in his life, and the worst part was the man he was in love with had to watch it happen too. 

 

johnny tried his best to calm them down, encouraging them to discuss this in the morning, but that somehow only made them angrier. he was finally able to find his words when the insults were turned on johnny, yelling and swearing and crying as johnny was pushed out of the door, told he was never to see jaehyun again. he caught one last glimpse of the boy he was so in love with before the door was slammed shut, and his expression could only be described as heartbroken. 

  
  
  
  


that was the event that led jaehyun to be sat in a taxi a week later, on his way to saint peter’s - a roman catholic boarding school for boys. for the next three years, he wouldn’t get a glimpse of the world outside the school grounds, but it was either this or live on the streets, and jaehyun chose the lesser of two evils. his emotional state was the same as the night everything went to shit, and his parents had completely isolated him. he’d only been allowed internet access to email his boss and tell her he was quitting, after that his parents cancelled his phone plan (he stupidly never thought to buy one in his own name) and changed the wifi password. he had no way to contact his friends, or johnny, or even find out if there was anything he could legally do in the situation - since they didn’t let him leave the house either. and quite frankly, jaehyun was tired of fighting. exhausted, he let himself be shipped off to this fucking university without much of a fuss, feeling that there was no point in trying to save the lost cause that was himself. 

 

as the cab turned into the grounds of the school, jaehyun quickly got a picture of what the next three years of his life would be like. they approached heavy iron gates standing at least 10 feet tall, and it took many minutes of proving identities and checking paperwork at the intercom before the gates creaked open. a long gravel driveway took them past acres of perfectly green fields, and jaehyun hated how perfect everything was, as it showed how much money was being pumped into this place. at last the school building itself came into sight, and it was achingly stereotypical. a grand, three story building with several extra wings built onto the sides, and behind numerous chimney stacks, jaehyun could make out the church steeple. 

 

if he wasn’t being sent there against his will, jaehyun might’ve said it was a beautiful property, but any of that admiration was overshadowed by the steeple that wouldn’t let him forget the real reason he was here. a man was waiting for him as the car rolled up to the front entrance, and jaehyun couldn’t put his finger on his occupation - receptionist? butler? assistant? - he wasn’t sure. this man greeted him and helped carry one of his cases, welcoming jaehyun to the school and explaining he would have a meeting soon with one of the senior tutors to help “integrate you into life here at st. peter’s”. 

 

they talked briefly as jaehyun was led up flights of stairs and along corridors until the man stopped in front of a door simply numbered #128 and pushed it open. 

 

“this is yours. an assembly is taking place at the moment, so leave your cases here and you can unpack afterwards. when the assembly is finished, please wait in your room and a prefect will collect you and take you to your meeting.” jaehyun nodded, taking in the underwhelming room. he appeared to have only one roommate - something he was grateful for - as there were two twin beds on either side of the room. aside from the beds, there were two small wardrobes for their clothes, consisting mostly of the school uniform, a nightstand and mirror each, and a window which overlooked an empty courtyard. 

 

there was nothing he could tell about his roommate from the room, their bed neatly made and belongings presumably tucked away in the furniture provided. they set jaehyun’s cases down, and he was whisked away again down hallways and flights of stairs until they reached what he assumed was the assembly hall. the man escorting him put his ear to the door and a finger to his lips. 

 

“they’re singing hymns now, so i’ll slip you in the side door. try to find a seat as quickly as possible so you don’t disturb the speaker.” jaehyun nodded in understanding, thanking the man quietly for his help as he carefully opened a small door, and jaehyun was faced with the entire population of the school. 

 

thankfully, he was on the back row and no one turned around, but he received a few stares from fellow students as he stepped into the place of the first seat he saw on the end of a pew. it was only three weeks into the new school year, but jaehyun knew he wouldn’t be able to blend in easily - being the new guy. at the end of the hymn, he followed everyone else’s lead and sat down, this seemed like a church service, and he certainly knew how those worked. the rest of the assembly proceeded like a church service, with readings from the bible, separated by hymns, all of which jaehyun luckily knew. at the end, the speaker let them go to “movement time” - whatever that was - and the students filed out of the hall row by row in silence. 

 

with only a little bit of getting lost, jaehyun eventually found his way to the C block, third floor, room 128. there was still no sign of his roommate, so he began unpacking his belongings, laying out everything he brought with him on his bed, his entire life in the contents of two suitcases. without anything new to take in or do, jaehyun found that the same empty feeling crept back again. he’d managed to escape it for a little while, but the hopelessness of the situation came back to him, and he felt tears pricking in his eyes as he thought of everything he’d had to leave behind. to make matters even worse, jaehyun heard the door handle turn as his roommate entered the room. 

 

god, his first meeting with his roommate and he was almost crying. so he wiped his eyes quickly and pretended not to have heard them open the door, busying himself with unpacking. 

 

“oh, hey!” the guy called out to him, and jaehyun straightened up, giving a ‘hi’ back without turning around. “i was told i’d be getting a new roommate, well it’s nice to meet you! i hope we can get on well since we’ll be spending a lot of time together.” the guy laughed nervously, but jaehyun hadn’t really been listening to his words, as the voice sounded far too familiar. it couldn’t possibly be - he didn’t want to turn around in case he was wrong, because he really was crying now, but he couldn’t ignore this guy forever. so he turned slowly, feeling the world stop as he was met with johnny. johnny fucking suh. 

 

in typical johnny fashion, he screamed when he saw jaehyun’s face, who was now ugly crying, fat tears rolling down his cheeks and his face screwed up in a whole mix of emotions. jaehyun threw himself into johnny’s arms, letting johnny pick him up and spin him around as he himself began crying. 

 

“i-- you-- i’m--” jaehyun spluttered once johnny put him down, no words coming out in pure shock and happiness. johnny laughed, even though he was crying just as hard, and pulled jaehyun in again for the tightest hug of his life. both of them held each other and sobbed until they were all cried out, and finally johnny held him at arm’s length as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. 

 

“i thought i’d never see you again!” he cried, that sunny smile jaehyun always loved spreading across his face. 

 

“me too,” jaehyun breathed, unable to find any words in this situation, still completely dumbfounded at how fate had reunited them. so instead, jaehyun pushed up onto his tiptoes and pulled the love of his life in and kissed him, letting johnny feel all of his emotions and gratitude and love. the three years to come would still be hell, but at least jaehyun had his best friend back by his side, and he thought, still in johnny’s embrace, when they had each other there was nothing they couldn’t survive. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> helloooo thank u so much for reading this if u got all the way to the end! this fic was Very out of my comfort zone, so i want to give a special thank you to @glitterjungwoo for giving me some advice <33 the events of this fic obviously took place before the first part of this series, and if you're interested in the full timeline i have a whole thread about this au on twitter! 
> 
> pls let me know what you thought of this, since i've never done anything like it before (and am p nervous to post it hhdbsbsd) i'd love to get some feedback! thank you guys as always for reading, i love u all v much Mwah
> 
> (also follow me on my nsfw twitter @xuxisbong)


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